Al and Joan

Teenage girls who find themselves sent to the Al and Joan’s family for foster care are greeted with a sign outside the home stating, “Safe at Home.” Al and Joan want the girls who come into their home to know that they are safe and a part of the family from the moment they arrive.

In the ten years that Al and Joan have been licensed as foster parents, they have taken in over 40 girls, all but 4 of whom were teenagers. There are currently 5 teenage girls in their care. Although they initially received their license with the state foster care program, they switched their license to Youth for Christ about 8 years ago. They love the support they get from Youth for Christ and the one-on-one attention provided by the case managers. Joan appreciates the way Anna Benson, their case manager, takes time to get to know the girls and is available to help when Al and Joan need her. Joan says Youth for Christ is the right match for them because “sometimes you just need prayer”.

Many people would cringe at the thought of raising 5 teenage girls at a time. In fact, it is often difficult to find homes for older children. Karen Grove, the placement coordinator at YFC, says that there are very few families willing to deal with adolescent issues and that this family is their “mainstay.” Joan and Al believe that some people may have misconceptions about children in foster care. It is important to recognize that foster children are in care because of their parents behavior, not their own. Joan and Al prefer teenagers because they were accustomed to having their four biological children’s friends around the house and felt comfortable working with that age group. Joan uses her own life experiences to help her relate to these older children. Their desire is to provide a loving family for kids and to teach them the kind of skills they need to become independent adults.

Making it work requires patience, prayer, and unconditional love, plus a lot of structure! Most foster children have not had enough of any of these things in their families of origin. Joan and Al also point out that because of the nature of foster care, many of the girls have not had a chance to build relationships with other girls. They do what they can to encourage bonding and sharing including family meetings and group manicures. They find that the girls are more likely to open up when painting nails or doing each others hair. Joan gives credit to her husband for the ease with which he handles such a girl-focused home.

They love it when their girls come back to visit. “Even though they’ve aged out, it’s still home. They still feel like this is their home” says Joan. Recently, they received a card from a 20 year old who lived in their home for 7 years. It stated, “You’re the best Mom I’ve ever had.” Receiving a card like that is what it is all about for Joan and Al.