I am a foster care supervisor and jack-of-all-trades at YFC. Today, like many days, was an emotional roller coaster. All of these encounters happened in the midst of a day also filled with many phone calls, emails, and conversations in the YFC office.
My day started with a “settlement conference” at juvenile court: kind of a mediation to negotiate if a mother will relinquish her parental rights so that her two children could be adopted by the foster parents. The mother was grieving through the entire meeting, with many tears flowing. She made the difficult decision to reliquish, with an open adoption agreement to see her children twice a year in the future.
As I left the courtroom, I saw another couple prepare to enter court to relinquish their parental rights to their twins. They kept saying “I’m doing the right thing for my children, right?” They knew the answer, but needed reassurance.
Later, I had to break the sad news to a mom that her baby would have to be moved to another foster home today. More tears were shed. She really wants her child home with her, but has to resolve many problems before that can happen. She had the opportunity to meet the new foster mom for a few minutes.
Then, around noon, a biological dad picked up his 6 month old son to take custody of him. He was SO excited! He brought roses for his YFC case manager and Krispy Kremes for everyone else. (I yielded to temptation and grabbed a Krispy Kreme to go with my yogurt for lunch.)
A toddler was in the office, in the arms of a case aide, on her way to a “goodby visit,” the last visit with her biological mom after over a year of weekly visitation. This little girl does not understand, but this is the last time she will see her biological mom before being adopted by her foster parents. My heart is heavy for the biological mom but also joyful for the foster family.
Then I received an email asking if I had a foster home for a newborn baby girl. A foster family who has two biological sons eagerly said yes to taking her. They will pick her up in the morning from the hospital. And so another foster care journey begins…
– Karen Grove
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When Child Protective Services and the courts make the decision that a child must be taken away from their parents, that child needs a foster home – right now. I receive calls and emails from CPS daily, asking me if YFC has an available foster home for a child. In one day I might receive as many as ten requests, for everything from newborn infants to teenagers with challenging behavioral needs.
I am the “air traffic controller”, or as one foster parent put it, the “care traffic controller,” deciding which homes to call about which children. It is challenging and keeps me in a spirit of prayer, as I decide who to call first. I know that some of my decisions have lifelong implications for children and families.
There are so many needs. Yesterday, I was searching for a foster home for a six-year- old girl who came from a churchgoing family. She had experienced neglect and abuse and had already been in three other homes. She was described as cute and outgoing, yet had many emotional hurts that needed healing. This sweet little first grader needed a new foster family to love and nurture her. Unfortunately, I was not able to find a home for her; YFC didn’t have an appropriate home with an open bed. There was “no room in the inn.”
When a group of siblings enter foster care, 75% of the time they have to be split up because there is not a home available with enough space to keep them together. Imagine being taken away from your parents and then not even being able to live with your brothers and sisters!
If you have thought about doing the ministry of foster care, please put your faith into action and take the steps to become licensed. The need is great! And the rewards are great, too!
—Karen Grove, Placement Coordinator
YFC has 95 families who are living the ministry of foster care. Many of them are foster-adopt families. They love and nurture their foster child while supporting the State’s efforts to help the biological parents solve their problems and regain custody of their children. At the same time, the foster parents are hoping to adopt the child if the biological parents do not succeed.
For a foster-adopt family, this is a long journey, lasting many months, that often involves roller-coaster emotions. Foster-adopt families want the birth parents to make positive changes in their lives, but they also love the children they are caring for.
This month, YFC has 6 families who are finalizing the adoptions of 7 foster children. They range in age from 5 down to 1-1/2. What a joy to cross the “finish line” at the final adoption hearing in court! Each hearing is special, with smiles, tears, and many photos. Each one of these children will now have the stability and permanence of a Christian adoptive family. –Karen Grove
